Hello all,

Life since our boys were born has been a rollar coaster of visitors, activities, and emotions. The thursday following the birth of our beautiful babies the doctors and nurses called us in for a meeting. They described to us how sick the boys were (basically on death's doorstep) and then informed us that if they did survive, they would both be severely handicapped-with the possibility of them being hospitalized the rest of their lives. They then gave us the choice to let our boys go. What a devestating day! They encouraged us to make our decision within the next 24 hours. the next day, after having a different neonatologist review the head ultra-sounds, they encouraged us to wait to make a decision until after a new set of tests on Monday. The ran the tests on Monday, but results weren't ready unti the following day.

Tuesday morning, March 13, one week and one day following his birth, Spencer made the choice for us, and went to magnify his calling in the Spirit world.He was a sick little fellow and we feel priviledged that he stuck around as long as he did. We were able to give both of them a name and a blessing Sunday morning with both sets of grandparents, two uncles and one set of great-grandparents in attendance. It was a special day.

Tuesday afternoon we received the status report prepared for Micah. According to our interpretation of what the doctors said Micah was extremely close to following his brother (a few more days maybe) and they again gave us the option of sending him home to join Spencer. If I have one major peice of advice it would be -do not make any major decisions on such a day. We came close to deciding to let go of Micah as well. However, we weren't positive and Seth was wise enough to say, if we're not sure, then we shouldn't do anything. Thank goodness! The next day, upon reflection we decided that in our emotional distress we couldn't do anything but stick to our original plan, which was let things go on as they were. Basically we chose to say "Heavenly Father, you may have these little ones if that is Thy will, but we're going to keep them until you tell us you need them". He let us know that it was Spencer's time, (spencer got perforated bowl syndrome, something untreatable in his state) and so we said good-bye.

It has been over a week since we made our choice to hang on to our little Micah, and he likewise is hanging on. His lungs are still very very very sick. They started giving him a new treatment involving steroids two days ago that they reserve for only extreme cases because of possible side-effects. However, his heart is looking better, and they are weaning him off of some of the treatments they have been using for that. They did another brain ultrasound (performed every Monday, unless needed more often) and although he still has the same problems as before, things have not progressed, or gotten worse. So basically, things are about the same, Micah is not really getting better, and not really getting worse. Each day we are grateful for any good news we receive, like his oxygen support being down to 61 instead of 84, etc. We are learning a whole new set of medical data, and are becoming pretty effecient in reading what all of his monitors are telling us. We continue to pray that Micah will remain with us and are grateful for all of the prayers of faith and support in his and our behalf. We have been buoyed up during this difficult time and are eternaly grateful.

For those of you wondering about what our family is doing, The arrangments right now consist of Scotty and Seth living in Logan (school and work do happen, and are neccessary unfortunatley). Max, Simon and I are staying in Tooele with Seth's parents so that I can go to the hospital each day and visit Micah (children under 14 are not allowed in the NICU during RSV season which lasts usually until the end of May). For the past two weeks, my Mom picked me up and drove me because until yesterday I wasn't allowed to drive (results of my C-section). She however, after 6 weeks, is finally going home to California, and my dad and brothers still there. Right now, our family gets to be together on the weekends. However, as the needs of the family change, then most likely our living arrangements will change as well.

That, in brief, has been our last two weeks. Services for Spencer were held on March 17, and his little body is now a part of "Baby Land" in the Logan City cemetary.

We might keep this up better in the future, and we might not. things are still in upheaval and it might take us a while, but we will try to keep people informed on how micah is doing. Hopefully, that will continue for a long, long, time!